MY NIGHT IN JAIL...

Ok, maybe that´s a bit dramatic, but here´s how it all went down:

The date: 19 August 2006
The event: Young Geldenhuys disembarks the FANTASTIC cruise ship, says goodbye to Quentin, Phillipa, Mike and all the other good folks who made it an awesome holiday... then the fun starts.

10h00: They page me - time to get the hell off the ship, party´s over, go home.
10h20: Luggage not where it´s supposed to be - go back to terminal with over-aggressive taxi driver, he drops some names and we get my backpack. Off to the airport!
11h00: Checked in and fall asleep in cafeteria
13h00: Have sunblock, deepheat and Axe deoderant confiscated by customs. Now I´ll have to make do with my own manly smell for a while. Chicks dig it.
14h00: Off to Houston - sleep on flightç
17h00: Get off walk mile get on flight to Mexico - relatively smooth sailing so far...
20h00: Arrive in Mexico City. Woohoo! Tonight we party - I´m sure Ricardo has organized something huge, and probably I´ll see Guilio, Ramon and Ana Luz as well tonight. Can´t wait to clear customs!
20h11: "You seem to be missing your arrival form that needs to accompany the visa sir. Please wait here in this holding area for 5 minutes".
20h30: Other 20 people in holding cell are helped and start clearing out. I desperately try to get one of the security guards to help me phone Ricardo who´s waiting outside...
21h00: Only me, Sashan from India and some Peruvian bloke are left in holding cell. First bad news - we´ll have to stay the night, they can´t issue docs without payment to the bank of $40, which is only open at 9 in the morning...
21h30: Sashan starts to complain heavily. He has hypertension. Guards become even unfriendlier. I call Ricardo from Sashan´s phone, he says there is a huge party at his house just for me but he´ll see me in the morning then.
21h40: More bad news. Guard advises bank is closed tomorrow as it is Sunday, and we can´t stay in holding area more than 24 hours. They are gonna send me back from where I came. Say what??? I worry that Sashan will bust a nerve...
Temperature drops I have no warm clothes - can I either go get my luggage or some blankets???
22h30: Peruvian guy gives up and is off to Lima. Sashan and I only ones left. I start jabbing in broken Spanish with Santiago, our guard. We REALLY bond after he escorts me to the bathroom.
23h00: Ramon calls on Sashan´s phone to tell me what an awesome party they´re having. Thanks for sharing. I tell them I might be sent back in the morning...
23h30: Continental Air rep brings sandwiches and takes my other passport. Now I´m fucked, they´re definitely sending me back to Houston!
00h00: Sashan asks for Paracetemol. I wield the Spanish ling like a scimitar and a doctor is on his way. Hey I´m impressing myself!
00h30: Same guy who said bank is not open on Sunday changes his mind. Maybe wé´ll be allowed to stay... Continental rep brings blankets.
01h00: Santiago reckons we get upgraded to ensuite facility with the other prisoners. Now I don´t need a date to go to the bathroom anymore. Sleep on stools, fed and warm. They bring my luggage as well. Now it´s like the Hilton!
01h30: Clowning around with guards... they think my gyro-powerball is a wank muscle exerciser, hysterical giggles ensue. I take a picture of holding facility just as doctor arrives '- he shits on me for a busy height: "yes I speak English - and German too! Do you think you´re a bloody tourist? No pictures!" He examines Sashan, concludes that we have wasted his time and goes his not-so-merry way. Me and the guards poke fun at him after he leaves. Loco...
2h00: Go to sleep. Let´s worry about things as they happen tomorrow.
8h00: Herded back to old digs - hey I missed this place! Looks like we´ll be getting out of here after all... We wait on needles and pins. Sashan starts copying my quote book.
10h30: Get my passport back - this time I make sure I have all the forms. Pay additional $50 penalties for something I never die wrong, but voila! I am in Mexico...
11h00: At internet cafe relating this stirring tale... life can now resume!

TIP TO ALL SA TRAVELLERS: For God´s sake please remember that a visa isn´t enough, you need an entry form from the consulate as well!

Till next time true believers...